Your Ceremony Homework... Due at our second meeting
So I will give you the “package” when you fill out your Notice of Intended Marriage.
It will give you plenty of ceremonies from which to choose or to mix and match – or of course on which to base your own personal interpretation.
There are some things to bear in mind when designing your ceremony :
- The vows and ring presentation are usually repeated after the celebrant – ie it is not necessary to memorise them;
- Before the vows are taken, the celebrant will say “ I will now ask you to make your marriage vows. Please face each other and joining hands, and looking at each other, repeat after me…”;
- Before the rings are exchanged the celebrant will say “ John, please take Jane’s ring and holding it over the ring finger of her left hand, repeat after me: …….. and slip the ring on her finger.”
Designing your ceremony, choosing the promises that you intend to make each other – this is the FOUNDATION of your marriage. Don’t underestimate its value! I’m supposed to give you information on marriage education – in my view working on your ceremony together is a wonderful exercise in relationship-strengthening.
One couple sent me a message once about this:
“We found this harder to do than we expected. I would find myself weeping….This is not like me. I felt moved by the words, and we both find ourselves nervous. You can live together, but there is more to it when you decide to marry. A “formality” has taken on a different meaning … it will mark a new beginning”.
At your second meeting with me we can run through the ceremony you have put together (or not – I can always do all of it for you) and talk about how you invisage the minutiae of the ceremony to unfold.
This time between meetings is the opportunity for you to mull over and bring into focus how you want to be on the day… and what kind of mood you want for you family and friends.