Your wedding story really has to start with my wedding story. Back in the day I was influenced enough by a book by the doyenne of feminism, Germaine Greer. “ The Female Eunuch” confirmed my own reality that motherhood wasn’t for me, and it almost talked me out of getting married. That is until I met the love of my life and thought: “ Well… why not?”
And that is just it – we thought why NOT get married – we didn’t get married because we needed commitment, or approval, or security. We got married because we already had that, and there was no reason not to get married. I still think that if marriage will make a difference to your relationship or that you think it will be a seal to guard against insecurity or threat – then you should really be evaluating your relationship first.
A marriage ceremony provides the legal framework for the commitment of heart and mind that you have already made as a couple. Marriage is called the cornerstone of society for just reason, but we all know of many strong and enduring relationships which do not bear its label.
People do say though that the formal commitment consolidates their relationship, but so does the passage of time and shared experience. However I am not trying to talk you out of getting married! We were married by a civil celebrant soon after the option of a secular wedding was introduced by Lionel Murphy in the ’70s… so different from one another, we never had to “work at it”, or fought, or spent a night apart if we were in the same city… abnormal? But wedded, childless bliss till death did us part.
I meant every word of those marriage vows, as I will when I recite them for you as part of Your Wedding Story.