Love and Friendship

Sometimes I read that the basis for love in marriage is friendship. That friends turn into lovers and surely their relationship will grow and thrive. Laura Hendricks poem,
Love is Friendship caught Fire” suggests this:

“Love is friendship caught fire; it is quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough.”

I think that the love we hold as the essential ingredient to modern marriage surely doesn’t begin with friendship. It doesn’t ring true to me that you can be friends and not notice that you are attracted on quite a different level! What I do think though is that when the novelty and the excitement have died down and you find friendship – when your partner is the first person you turn to – then you have the essence of marriage. But your spouse will always be much more than a friend, and if you can keep the spark of lust and mutual interests that attracted you to one another in the first place alive, then you have a partnership that will stand up to time. You will maintain the passion, and it will be more than enough.

“ The Perfect Love, The Perfect Friend” by Reneé Duvall speaks first of passion, then of friendship:

“Because you are my love
I know the joy that comes from feeling closer to someone than I’ve ever felt before.

Because you are my love
I know the passion of wanting to share everything I have, everything I am with you and only you.

Because you are my friend
I know that I can count on you to hold my hand through the rough times and to be there to share the good times too.

Because you are my friend
I’ll always have someone to make me smile just when I need it most, and to encourage me when I’m feeling confused or doubtful.

And I know that I must be one of the luckiest people in the world
To have someone like you… the perfect love, the perfect friend.”

By |February 18th, 2016|Categories: Commitment, Love, Vows|0 Comments

About the Author:

Susan Artup is an experienced Civil Marriage Celebrant from the Blue Mountains and a foundation member of the Australian Marriage Celebrants incorporated, the largest professional network of celebrants in Australia.

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